Showing posts with label Barbra Streisand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barbra Streisand. Show all posts

Saturday, February 17, 2024

The Bombs of Barbra

Posters for the movies UP THE SANDBOX_ALL NIGHT LONG and THE GUILT TRIP

Among the many problems critics cited with the 1976 remake of A Star is Born—and they cited a bunch of them at the time—was the preposterousness of Barbra Streisand’s Lite FM pop winning over hard rock audience (mitigating factor: the rocker in question was played by Kris Kristofferson). To Barbra’s fans, however, this makes perfect sense. How could anyone not be won over by one of the most talented women of our time? Her fans were sold—I certainly was—and so A Star is Born became another one of Barbra’s many hit films and another fuck you to her critics.

But Barbra’s fans didn’t line up for everything she did. Though most of Barbra’s films were successful—her track record is pretty impressive—she did have a few bombs. So, while Barbra’s successes are being celebrated in the wake of her recently published door stopper of a memoir My Name is Barbra (also a hit), I thought I’d revisit her few failures, which is far easier—and faster—than reviewing that autobiography. (Nine-hundred and ninety-two pages? Oh, fuck no.) 

I’m going to bypass Hello, Dolly!, which, similar to Cleopatra, was both a box office hit (No. 5 on the list of top grossing movies for 1969) and a financial disappointment (i.e., it cost too goddamn much to make), though 20th Century Fox, as it did with Cleopatra, eventually recouped its investment. Instead, I’m jumping to Barbra’s first real flop, UP THE SANDBOX.

Barbra Streisand in a scene from the 1972 film UP THE SANDBOX.
Margaret joins the other moms in Central Park.

Up the Sandbox just might be the closest Barbra ever got to making a small arthouse film. In this 1972 adaptation of Anne Roiphe’s 1970 novel, Barbra plays Margaret, a young New York housewife, married to a college professor (David Selby) who regularly escapes her stifling existence through vivid fantasies. Sometimes the fantasies are dark (joining a group of activists to blow up the Statue of Liberty), but most are played for laughs (Margaret pushing her nagging mother’s face into a birthday cake; increasing her breast size at will during a college faculty party).

Jane Hoffman_Barbra Streisand and David Selby in a scene from UP THE SANDBOX
Margaret's mother (Jane Hoffman) fights back.

Jocobo Morales as Fidel Castro in a scene from the 1972 film UP THE SANDBOX
Fidel Castro (Jocobo Morales) has a secret.
It's not a perfect film. The feminist messaging is a little too on-the-nose, some of the humor hasn’t aged well (“Oh, my god, you’re a fag.”), and its conclusion isn’t entirely satisfying, but I still count Up the Sandbox among my favorite Barbra Streisand films. It’s certainly one of Barbra’s best performances. One of Barbra’s stumbling blocks as an actress, especially in more dramatic roles, is she can’t let us forget she’s Barbra Streisand, so her performances are always bigger than the character she’s playing. She also tends to be too self-conscious, unable to pick up a glass of water without making sure she’s showing off her manicure (as any Barbra fan knows, Babs just loves showing off her nails on camera). It’s like director Irvin Kershner (the same one who directed this little sci-fi gem) told her to do what she usually does, just 10-15% less of it—and for once she trusted the director. As a result, she gives one of her most relaxed, natural performances.

Barbra Streisand in a fantasy sequence from UP THE SANDBOX.
Margaret prepares to blow up the Statue of Liberty, a scene
Barbra says likely would not be included were the film made today.
Paul Benedict and Barbra Streisand in a scene from the 1972 film UP THE SANDBOX.
Margaret journeys to Africa with musicologist Dr. Beineke 
(Paul Benedict), but the natives are less than welcoming.

Too bad not a whole lot of people saw it. Reportedly audiences at the time were put off by how the fantasies were introduced. Instead of doing the standard harps and swirling dissolves to announce fantasy sequences, Kershner lets them happen organically, as if they are part of Margaret’s reality. It’s usually pretty easy to tell when a scene has segued into fantasy, but apparently this confused 1972 audiences, which hurt word of mouth. (Christopher Nolan would have had a very different career trajectory if he started making films in the early 1970s.)

David Selby and Barbra Streisand in a scene from UP THE SANDBOX.
Paul (David Selby) and Margaret get real.
The movie’s box office was further hurt by the fact that it is difficult to categorize. In the movie’s DVD commentary, Barbra describes the movie as “a drama with some laughs”—so, a dramedy. But the movie was marketed as a straight-up comedy, with a painting of Barbra, pregnant and looking startled, tied to a giant baby bottle. I like the poster, but it’s selling a wacky comedy like What’s Up, Doc?, released earlier the same year, not “a drama with some laughs.” The trailer didn’t help matters. As we’ll soon see, this won’t be the last time mis-marketing helped tank one of Barbra’s movies.

Did it deserve to bomb? No. It’s definitely worth seeking out if you’re a Streisand fan. Even if you’re not, you might still want to check it out as it’s not a typical Streisand film. It’s available for streaming. Those who prefer physical media will have to be content with a DVD, but if you go that route avoid Barbra’s commentary track, which adds little beyond proving she’s as self-absorbed as her detractors say she is.

‘A Little, European Kind of Film’

If there was any justice in the world, the next movie on this list would be 1979’s The Main Event, which I think is Barbra’s worst movie (for her co-star, the late Ryan O’Neal, worst was yet to come), but, no, The Main Event made money. Instead, Barbra’s second bomb detonated in 1981 with the release of the non-com ALL NIGHT LONG.

Gene Hackman and Barbra Streisand in a scene from the 1981 film ALL NIGHT LONG.
George Dupler (Gene Hackman) and Chery (you know who)
enjoy dinner at sunset.

All Night Long was originally meant to be a modest little comedy about George Dupler, a middle-aged exec for a drugstore chain who, after reacting violently to being passed over for a promotion, gets demoted to night manager of one of the company’s 24-hour stores. George then begins having an affair with the wife of his fourth cousin, Cheryl, who is also having an affair with George’s son Freddie (got all that?). Gene Hackman was cast as George, and Lisa Eichorn as Cheryl. It was the American debut of Belgian director Jean-Claude Tramont.

Gene Hackman in the 1981 film ALL NIGHT LONG.
Gene Hackman wonders what the fuck happened
to his movie.

Unfortunately for the movie, Tramont was married to ’70s superagent Sue Mengers. Mengers represented Hackman, but her biggest client was Barbra Streisand. Mengers had wanted Barbra in the role of Cheryl from the beginning, but Barbra, then busily trying to get Yentl off the ground, passed. This didn’t stop Mengers, who began badmouthing Eichorn’s performance the moment she saw the early rushes (other people connected to the film said Eichorn was fine). Mengers’ behind the scenes fuckery is detailed fully in Brian Kellow’s biography of Mengers, Can I Go Now? (or you could just read an excerpt here), but the TL;DR version is that Mengers got Barbra to reconsider with a very persuasive $4 million payday, got Eichorn fired, and transformed her husband’s low-stakes project into A Barbra Streisand Film.

Loni Anderson says she was considered for the role Cheryl but was
beat out by Barbra. However, the one source I found that even mentions
Anderson in connection with this movie reports she was considered after 
Barbra initially turned the part down, meaning she lost the role to Lisa Eichorn.
Either way, she dodged a bullet (only to catch a much bigger bullet).

The cover to the 2004 DVD release of ALL NIGHT LONG
The 2004 DVD cover is closer
to the tone of the movie, but still
misses the mark. Also, did they
give Barbra a Photoshop nose job?
Except, All Night Long wasn’t A Barbra Streisand Film; Barbra was a co-star in a Gene Hackman film (All Night Long was the first time she got second billing). That didn’t stop Universal’s publicity department from making Barbra the focus of its marketing. “She’s got a way with men, and she’s getting away with it… All Night Long,” reads the poster’s tagline. Muddying the waters further is the accompanying art featuring Barbra sliding down a fireman’s pole with her skirt flying up à la Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch, with Hackman, Dennis Quaid (as Freddie) and Kevin Dobson (as Cheryl’s hot-headed fireman husband Bobby) waiting below to catch her. A rollicking sex farce starring Barbra Streisand? This movie looks fun!

All Night Long is not a rollicking sex farce. It’s not that fun, or that funny. “It was really a little, European kind of film,” is how Barbra described it in Can I Go Now? She said she “felt totally betrayed” by the movie’s misleading ad campaign. Audiences also felt betrayed, and the movie quickly sank at the box office, making just under $4.5 million against its $15 million budget.

Gene Hackman and Dennis Quaid in a scene from ALL NIGHT LONG
Dennis Quaid might actually be stoned in this scene.

All Night Long isn’t that funny, but it isn’t unwatchable, either. I’d describe it as a neutered Middle-Age Crazy or a second-rate Starting Over. It’s a direct-to-video movie before those were a thing. Barbra, wearing a Rona Barrett wig and push-up bras, manages to pull off the role as ditzy suburban cougar Cheryl, and it’s fun to see her play against type. Unfortunately, Cheryl isn’t a character so much as she is a collection of quirky behaviors: she rides a scooter; she has a love of the color lavender so obsessive that even her cigarettes are that color; she meticulously picks the raisins out of a cinnamon raisin Danish because she read somewhere you shouldn’t eat fruit and carbs together. In fact, most of the laughs Cheryl gets hinge on the fact that she’s played by Barbra Streisand, such as a scene in which Cheryl, composing a country song on an electric organ, proves to be a lousy singer, which got the movie’s biggest laugh when I saw it in the theater (I’m old, y’all!) Would this scene have worked if Lisa Eichorn was in the role of Cheryl? Probably, but the laughs likely wouldn’t have been as loud.

Alternative poster mockups for ALL NIGHT LONG
These alternate poster designs I whipped up arent masterpieces of 
graphic design, but they better convey the tone of All Night Long than
what Universal came up with. I made Gene Hackman's character the
focus, while Barbra is featured but not emphasized. The lazier design
on the right also makes it clear that Barbra is not the main character,
though Im sure anyone presenting such a design in 1981 would be fired
on the spot. Sue Mengers and Barbra might even have the designer killed.

But most of the characters in All Night Long are underwritten, reduced to types rather than fully realized people, with only Hackman’s George getting fleshed out to any degree. In fact, the whole movie plays out like they were working from screenwriter W.D. Richter’s first draft. In addition to underdeveloped characters, there’s a satirical undercurrent about suburban malaise and the so-called American Dream that's never fully realized, either because Richter’s script never quite articulated it or Tramont never quite grasped it. In the end, All Night Long didn’t need Barbra to save it; it just needed rewrites.

Did it deserve to bomb? Yes, if only as an expensive middle finger to Mengers, who should’ve minded her own fucking business. (Mengers got an even bigger middle finger when Barbra dropped her as her agent shortly after. As for Tramont, he died in 1996 with only one other American directing credit, the TV movie As Summers Die.) I don’t dislike the movie—it’s way more watchable than The Main Event—but it’s hardly essential viewing. 

Barbra Streisand and Diane Ladd in a scene from 1981's ALL NIGHT LONG
Cheryl enjoys one of her lavender-tinted cigs while Diane Ladd,
as Georges wife Helen, seethes beneath her horrible granny helmet.

The Stars of Funny Girl and Pineapple Express,
Together at Last

Though Sue Mengers is the villain of the All Night Long debacle, she was reportedly one of the few people in Barbra’s life who could get away with calling the superstar out on her bullshit. And so, decades later, when the two women were again on speaking terms, it was Mengers who told Barbra to stop waffling and just accept the offer to star in THE GUILT TRIP, directed by Anne Fletcher.

Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand in a scene from the 2012 comedy THE GUILT TRIP
What do you mean youre not holding?”

Seth Rogen in the 2012 comedy THE GUILT TRIP
Seth Rogen is just as surprised as
you are that he is in a PG-13 movie.
The Guilt Trip was Barbra’s first starring role since 1996’s The Mirror Has Two Faces, which she also directed (can’t forget that detail!), and, to date, her last movie. Yet upon The Guilt Trip’s December 2012 release Barbra's return to the big screen was met only with mixed reviews and polite applause. That said, I’m stretching the premise by counting it as one of Barbra’s bombs. The Guilt Trip wasn’t a hit, but it did eventually make back its $40 million budget. It “underperformed” rather than flopped.

Barbra plays Joyce, a widowed mother who dotes on her adult son, Andy (Seth Rogen), a chemist and struggling entrepreneur. Though Andy finds Joyce’s attention stifling, he does worry about her being alone and invites her to join him on a cross-country drive from New Jersey to California, with him making stops at various retail chains along the way to pitch his environmentally friendly cleaning product, ScieoClean. Andy also has an ulterior motive: learning that Joyce's first love now lives in San Francisco, he plans a surprise reunion.

Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand in a scene from 2012's THE GUILT TRIP
Andy begins to regret inviting his mother along for the ride.

The opening fifteen minutes of The Guilt Trip suggest it’s going to be little more than a 90-minute Jewish mother joke, but the movie has a bit more to it than that. Joyce is annoying but well meaning; Andy finds her overbearing and wishes she’d just shut the fuck up and give him some space—except when he needs her. Naturally, their relationship is tested, but by the time they reach the west coast their bond is stronger than ever. 

Seth Rogen, Barbra Streisand and Pedro Lopez in THE GUILT TRIP
Joyce picks up a hitchhiker.

Barbra was perfectly cast as Joyce (she got a Worst Actress Razzie nomination for this movie, but like a lot of Razzie nominations, I suspect it was more than a little disingenuous, being more about taking Babs down a peg than it was about her actual performance). The wild card was Rogen, who in the early 2010s was known more for raucous/raunchy R-rated comedies like Knocked Up and Pineapple Express. Would people buy him in a role where he never once takes a bong hit or makes a crude sex joke? (This PG-13 movie’s one allotted f-bomb goes to Barbra.) Rogen’s persona at the time had me thinking that Bette Midler would be a more believable movie parent for him, but I was pleasantly surprised by how well he and Barbra play off each other. They’re actually believable as mother and son. If only they were funnier.

Seth Rogen_Barbra Streisand_Brett Cullen in a scene from the 2012 film THE GUILT TRIP.
Andy and Joyce celebrate her competitive gluttony victory. On the far
right is Brett Cullum as Ben, a cowboy who is apparently into older
women who like to eat.

It's not that The Guilt Trip is devoid of laughs, it’s just that Dan Fogelman’s script is more sentimental than funny (the story is based on a real-life road trip he had taken with his mother). Most of the humor stems from Andy’s sarcastic asides to Joyce’s babbling. Where this trip veers off course is when Fogelman shoves in goofy contrivances, like when Joyce and Andy are stranded in the parking lot of a Tennessee titty bar and Joyce excitedly runs for the club’s front door because she misreads “topless” as “tapas.” Then there’s the scene in which Joyce participates in a Texas steakhouse’s eating challenge, which seems to be banking on audiences finding the sight of Barbra woofing down over three pounds of beef side-splitting. Hmmm, maybe it would’ve been better if Joyce lost a karaoke contest instead? There are also some lines that just haven’t aged well since the movie’s release, as when Joyce calls Andy her “little Donald Trump.” Oy!

All in all, The Guilt Trip is the kind of movie that would be described as cute. I remember thinking it was merely OK when I first saw it, ranking it as better than All Night Long but not as funny as For Pete’s Sake, or even Meet the Fockers. I had a higher opinion of the movie after a recent rewatch. The overall sweetness of the story resonated more the second time around, possibly because I’d lost my mother a few years ago and was more receptive to the sentimentality. I also laughed more than I remember doing on my first viewing. I still consider it one of Barbra’s lesser films, but it’s a little better than I initially gave it credit for.

Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand in a scene from the 2012 comedy THE GUILT TRIP.
Fashion forward: a track-suited Joyce adjusts Andy’s rumbled jacket.

Did it deserve to bomb underperform?: No, but it’s not surprising that it did. This thing was never going to make Marvel money (though, as I write this, Madame Web is making Guilt Trip money), however Paramount could’ve picked a better release date (Mother’s Day weekend, anyone?) The days when people flocked to see a Barbra Streisand movie had long since passed (even I, who saw All Night Long on its opening weekend, waited until The Guilt Trip was streaming), and younger audiences likely only knew Barbra as Roz Focker or a South Park punchline. Rogen’s fans at the time probably just wondered what the fuck he was doing in a PG-13 movie. But ultimately, the movie simply wasn’t funny enough to make people pay $8 U.S. to see it, especially in 2012’s economy.

Barbra has said she likely won’t make another movie, which isn’t surprising. She’s in her eighties, after all, though I wouldn't be surprised if she took one final, low effort/big payday film role before she dies (Book Club IV: The Wizening). So, for a career spanning more than six decades, the fact that she’s only had three box office misfires is a remarkable record. However, she’s also not been the most prolific actor, having made only 19 films, eight of those between 1981 and 2012. She hasn’t taken a lot of chances, either, sticking to musicals, comedies (romantic or otherwise) and romantic dramas. That may be great for a studio’s bottom line and Barbra's asking price, but I feel like she would have had a more interesting career if she had accepted some of the roles she turned down. In many cases, I’m glad she said no (King Kong, Poltergeist, The Exorcist 😮), but there are other film roles I wish she had taken. Would The Eyes of Laura Mars, Bagdad Cafe, or Misery (holy shit, really?) possibly have ended up on this list if she had accepted the offers to star in them? Highly likely, but, goddamn, how fun would those movies have been if they had been Barbra Streisand movies? No disrespect to Kathy Bates—she totally owned the part of Annie Wilkes and deserved her Oscar® for it—but I would very much want to see an alternate version of Misery with Barbra in that role. 

Monday, February 24, 2020

The Divas’ Whore Complex


Nuts and Rent-A-Cop very different movies with a lot of similarities

On the surface, NUTS and RENT-A-COP couldn’t be more different. One is a courtroom melodrama; the other a craptastic cop movie. One was meant to earn its star awards; the other exists to give its stars jobs. One was directed by Martin Ritt, director of such classics as Hud and Norma Rae; the other directed by Jerry London, director of the TV mini-series Shogun, as well as several episodes of Hogan’s Heroes, The Partridge Family and The Brady Bunch. One was based on an acclaimed play written by Tom Topor, who also wrote the screenplay for The Accused; the other has a screenplay co-written by Michael Blodgett, who rocked leopard-print bikini briefs in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

But the movies have some distinct similarities. Both were made in 1987 and star Oscar®-winning gay icons playing hookers with incredibly irritating personalities. These divas are also the least convincing prostitutes in movie history, no mean feat given that Hollywood’s portrayal of sex work seldom represents reality.

Nuts stars Barbra Streisand, which, if you’re a hardcore Streisand fan, as I was in 1987, is pretty much all you need to know to be sold on the film. For those needing more of a plot synopsis, here goes: Claudia Draper (guess who?) is a call girl accused of murdering a john, but the issue isn’t proving her innocence, but rather proving Claudia’s mental fitness to stand trial. Her parents think it’s best that Claudia accept confinement to a mental institution rather than risk going to prison. Claudia wants her day in court, and with the help of her public defender (Richard Dreyfuss), she fights to prove she’s not crazy, she’s just a bitch.

Being a hardcore Streisand fan when this movie was released, I went to see it the weekend it opened, or possibly the weekend after (my early twenties are a bit of a repressed memory). The point is, I didn’t dawdle. And at the time I thought Nuts was excellent, one of the best, if not THE BEST, movies of 1987, and that Barbra should clear a space on her awards shelf for her inevitable Oscar® win. (Ultimately, she’d have to be content with a Golden Globe nomination.)

Though I still consider myself a Streisand fan, I’m well past my blind adoration of her. I re-watched Nuts recently and found it to be… OK. Just OK. Though attempts are made to open it up, it’s quite obviously based on a play, and a very dated one at that. Topor wrote his play in 1979, but the movie adaptation had me thinking of movies from an earlier time: the 1940s. Seriously, remove the profanity and references to overpriced blowjobs and Nuts would’ve been the perfect vehicle for Joan Crawford in 1948. Not only that, 1948 audiences might actually believe Joan as a hooker. Not so for Barbra in 1987.

Nuts wasn’t the first time Streisand was turned out. She played a hooker in the 1970 comedy The Owl and the Pussycat, and did so convincingly. In Pussycat, Streisand happily gets in touch with her trashy side in portraying prostitute/porn actress Doris, and she sells it. Streisand had starred in a string of G-rated musicals prior to being cast in the then R-rated Pussycat, so she was eager to get down and dirty, to show the world that the star of Funny Girl could wear lewd lingerie and drop f-bombs with the best of them.

Barbra Streisand in 'Owl and the Pussycat' and "Nuts"
Sometimes cheaper is better: Barbra in The Owl and the Pussycat
(left) and Barbra in Nuts.
In Nuts, however, Streisand has to Streisand. Claudia is a high-class call girl, not some sleazy ’ho. As shown in flashbacks, Claudia, tastefully and expensively dressed, joins her soon-to-be-murdered john (Leslie Nielsen!) for cocktails and suggestive repartee at a chic Manhattan restaurant before they go back to her place for (off camera) sex. It’s the Second Wife Experience. Claudia may flash her cooch to her attorney and graphically detail her services from the stand, but she’s still a lady, and a well-paid one at that. Which begs the question: Would a woman in her forties, who, though striking, is not conventionally attractive, and who I’m pretty confident would refuse to do anal, really command such a high price that she could afford the large, exquisitely decorated New York apartment she has in Nuts? Only if Barbra herself were turning tricks.

I’m also pretty confident Della, the hooker character Liza Minnelli plays in Rent-A-Cop, wouldn’t do anal, either, though, unlike Barbra’s Claudia, she’s a lot more flippant about her profession.

“Hey, Della, what’s happening?” asks a hotel desk clerk as she enters the lobby, dressed in a beaded red dress with a white fur boa around her neck. (An Amazon reviewer observed that Liza looks like she’s about to perform at the Sands.)

“Well, I don’t know yet,” Della replies. “That depends on if my date wants his mommy, Little Bo Peep or Helga the Bitch Goddess.” That’s right, kids: prostitution is just like playing dress-up!

Minnelli as a hooker in 'Rent-A-Cop'
 Liza-with-a-Z out to get some D.
Though made in 1987, the Burt Reynolds vehicle Rent-A-Cop wasn’t released until January 1988, lasting in theaters just long enough to be panned by critics before slinking off to collect dust on video store shelves. I watched it ironically last year, surprised to find that it wasn’t nearly as godawful as expected. It’s bad, yes, a flatly-directed jumble of clunky comedy, gritty action and straight-up camp, but it’s not unwatchable.

Reynolds, as the disgraced cop Tony “Churchy” Church, hired by Della to protect her from a ruthless killer, gives the performance of a man who’s just beginning to realize his leading man days are coming to a close. Minnelli, breathless and jittery, gives the performance of someone who likes a little coffee with her cocaine. (Minnelli had gone through rehab in 1984, but if any movie would cause a relapse, Rent-A-Cop is that movie.) In Minnelli’s defense, her jangly performance fits the character. She isn’t bad. In fact, I’d go so far as to say Minnelli gives a better performance in this shitty movie than Barbra gives in her Oscar® bait role. But never once did I believe Liza as a woman who is paid for sex.

That said, if I had to choose between hiring either diva for the evening, I’d go with Liza. I’m not really a Liza fan, but she seems like she’d be more pleasant company, or at least less likely to make me cry. And, besides, Liza’s used to dating gay men.